Jan 20, 2012

How to live with no regrets: the very basics

Unfortunately, I can not say that because of my many years of experience and the white color of my hair I have learnt how to truly live fully: forgive the cliché. Yet, I think I know a few things that could help anyone to live less regretfully. I can say with confidence that I am a happy man and I have not always been.

First
We have to acknowledge that we have done things we regret. No one is perfect. I have asked many people if they have any regrets, guess the answer: “I have no regrets!”

What fools: aren’t they human?

Many people think this way: “Oh, I almost die because I was being a fool… but if I didn’t have that experience I wouldn’t be who I am today… so I don't regret what I did that almost cost me my life.”

I’m being a bit extreme here, but I hope the idea gets through.

This is a bad way of thinking, because that pain and shame will be there nonetheless, they will still linger in our heart. No matter how many times we tell ourselves that if we did not do the things we did, we wouldn’t be here… the truth is that some pain will stay with us.

The only way to eliminate the pain of regret is to forgive ourselves for what we did. In other words we have to acknowledge that we made mistakes, that we failed, that we fell down.

Second
We have to make up for the regrets in our life.

How?

The thing is that the acknowledgement of ones regrets will inevitably lead to a higher awareness of who we are and what makes us happy. Thus, once we are in the capacity to forgive ourselves we will be able to see what is needed to be happier and live more rewarding lives.

This acknowledgement will not be possible if we do not use some time to reflect on our lives, on our actions and their consequences, on who we are.

Third
We have to acknowledge that we WILL fail again, that we WILL make mistakes again, that we WILL encounter difficult situations again, that we WILL make bad decisions again. At one time or another it will happen and we have to be ready, so that we react to the obstacles like a mature person: in other words, without causing conflict and getting into useless fighting, and without unnecessarily hurting our loved ones.

Fourth 
Let's take it easy. Let's slow down. Let's think for a moment.

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