Nov 21, 2011

Meaning of life

I can't sleep. Sometimes I just don't feel like going to sleep until I can't stay awake any longer. So it's 5.29 am of a Monday. I'm working today... and I'm listening to a beautiful song repeatedly, I just heard it in a movie. I think my life has changed so much in the last few days, I feel a deep sense of humility I've never felt before... but real humility: a deep sense of respect and appreciation for my life. Much of what we say we believe and live for stays in words, in a narrative that we tell to ourselves, but we don't feel it deeply. I wish people would value and strive to be kinder, much kinder, without expecting kindness in return. I wish people were more compassionate. I wish people would strive to understand the other one, just a little bit better. Things could be so simple, life could be so simple for all of us: I try to be simple in everything I do and say, I like people to understand what I mean, I try to think in a simple way, in a straight forward manner. 5.49 am and I'm secretly happy, what's the point to live if we don't do what we really want to do. The problem is of course that most of the time either we don't know what to do or we can not afford the luxury of even thinking about the things we want to do. And I seriously wonder, whether I live the life I want to live... but life is a journey, there will be happiness and there will be sorrow, there will be playfulness and there will be pain, there will be success and there will be failure, we will be afraid and we will feel confident. In one hundred years every single person I know including myself will not exist any more. How many people have you ever inspired? How many people have you fearlessly loved? I want to give myself one hundred percent, do you? I have to answer two important emails today, and I wish I could write some more; but since I haven't slept I'll probably feel my head foggy until I get my good eight hours of sleep. Do you feel that your life is awesome? Do you understand that at the end whether your life is awesome or not, it all depends on the perspective you have of your own life? This is it, it is now, it is right now, at this very moment. It is at this very moment when you know that your life is awesome. I've met people so amazing, I've met people so smart, I've met people so beautiful, and they don't even know it. And it is very important to acknowledge yourself, acknowledge your existence as something positive, or magnificent, or miraculous. Would you offer one day or your life to alleviate the pain of someone who needs it? Would you exchange life for a day with a starving child? We all have to live through tough moments, some of us have endured more hardships than others. But pain, sorrow, and misery come in many shapes... starvation or loneliness, what's more painful? I'm so grateful, I'm truly am. Would I be still happy even if everything I have would be taken away from me? Would you be happy? We are so dishonest to ourselves. I believe the secret to happiness resides in patience, kindness, generosity, empathy. Impatience leads to precipitated and impulsive decisions, in other words bad decisions. Kindness means that you respect life, that you respect others, that you respect yourself. Generosity is giving everything you are. Empathy is the opposite of being judgemental, it is seeing deeper on a person's heart, it is understanding beyond the words said. 6.30 am and I should stop here... I don't really know what I should do now, should I sleep? Should I stay awake?

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