In Europe unlike Colombia, it’s quite common that people don’t know how to dance; and it’s funny because many times I meet people just like me. They want to dance, but they are afraid of trying… they’re just embarrassed of making a fool of themselves when no one really cares if someone have sloppy or fancy moves, no one cares as long as one is having a good time. Obvious isn’t it? Go and insist, “come on, let’s dance, it’s fun!” the standard answer is “naah, I don’t really like this song,” or “I’m kind of tired, I’ve had such busy week”.
Alright! So coming back to the awesome miracle of Tanai Cardona doing exercise and running!
Well yeah, as you can imagine, for me going out to do some exercise have been as difficult as it was dancing. There has been every single possible mental obstacle to discourage me from doing it and rather stay at home under my sweet, warm, lovingly cover… I’ve been meaning to exercise for years, I’ve been thinking of going to a gym, perhaps run for a bit, even try and do some work out at home, yet there’s an Everest of mental obstacles stopping me from doing it. Those mental obstacles have the form of a universe of excuses and also have their origin in my years as a child and a teenager… let me transport you back to the past for a bit again.
Since being a kid I’ve never been good at sports, why… hmmm… this might go back to times before I had a memory. In any case, I was always this small, kind, quiet, fearful kid. I wasn’t playing around, jumping on the mud, climbing trees, grabbing frogs, and shit; I was the kid imagining cities and adventures in the inhabited room of the huge house where I was born—playing by myself—or among the countless plants my grandma had all around: that was my kind of play.
So I’ve sucked at sports, I’ve had no coordination whatsoever between my limbs and the different types of balls, small or big ones… at school I was always outran and outplayed: in fact, I was the third shortest kid in my class of more than thirty boys...
[Would you like to know how did I figure I was the third shortest? Because the geniuses of my teachers used to align us by height… evil motherfuckers! Why? Why the fuck? I’m surprised how people could have such disregard for the self-esteem of the children of the world! Actually, the shortest in my class was nicknamed chiqui, which was a short for chiquitín, which originates from chiquito, which in turns originates from chico, which means small or short in Spanish. It put a target on your back immediately for the tallest oldest brutos of my class.]
In addition to my exceptionally athletic physical qualities, I almost drowned at the school’s swimming pool and once at karate class, which I attended because it was mandatory, I farted out loud in the middle of performing a kata, to the amusement of everybody and to top my list of most embarrassing moments of my life… In consequence, I’ve always had all these negative feelings associated with sports and physical activities in general. Running for me was out of the question! Completely out of the question! But my soul is strong and determined; to the extent that I have climbed the Everest of obstacles and tonight I overcame every possible excuse my brain put in my path… excuses that stopped my previous intents of exercising many times before.
I’m sitting there in front of my laptop, when suddenly I heard this voice within my brain, let’s call this voice Dr. T… so Dr. T said:
“I should go out and run now, this is the time”.
Then another opposing mysterious voice within my brain appeared, let’s call this other voice LazyMF, MF for Monkey-funky… so LazyMF answered:
“Come on Tanai,” exclaimed Dr. T cheerfully within my brain. “You can do it”.
Then I imagined myself running, checked the time, 20.20… it must be cold, it should be raining too.
“Como on!!! Let’s run baby!!! Show me your power!!!” shouted Dr. T within my brain… then I started feeling that energy rising, that heat in my chest, that inspiration.
“Are you serious?” asked LazyMF disrupting me while I was getting all psyched up. “You don’t have proper clothes for running; you don’t even have shoes for running! You don’t even know how to fucking warm up!”
“Whatever!!! You can wear your converse… I mean, they were designed for basketball players from the very beginning, so they should be comfortable enough. Just put some sweat pants, a sweater and go out and run!” Nice move from Dr. T there…
The exchange between Dr. T and LazyMF continued for a few more minutes.
In the meantime, I was pondering...
“What’s the temperature outside?” I tried to open the browser to check the actual temperature but I remembered that I didn’t have internet… I minimized all the windows on the screen of my laptop revealing, all of a sudden, the very inspiring Megan Fox wallpaper I just recently set on the background to cheer me up in these cloudy winter days.
Then Dr. T spoke wisely these very words:
“Would you like to date Megan Fox? Well, she probably works out pretty hard, probably she spends a lot of time exercising and trying to keep in perfect shape. I know your personality is attractive enough to seduce Megan Fox given you get the opportunity to meet her… but man, do you really deserve a perfectly fit girl when you are just a lazy monkey-funky that doesn’t even bother to drag his ass out that chair away from your laptop and go out for a run?”
I was fully convinced now; anymore pondering would have been useless. So I got up the chair, and went out for a run. An event the likes of which I’ve never experienced before… and I ran, and I ran some more, the road was muddy, all the better, there was drizzle, there was the wind… and then I sweated and I sweated some more, I ran some more until I felt too tired and decided to come back to triumphantly ran the last bit uphill at my maximum speed: it reminded me that I’m still very young and powerful…
From now on I will have absolutely no excuses that could stop me from doing some more exercise and have a healthier and active lifestyle… I mean, besides dancing all night long at the club.